yep, still gettin' on my nerves

God, she gets on my nerves. Ya know what really annoys me? Is how she'll say she thinks we should just go to sleep so our issues will be "slept away", but then when I wake up and I'm still angry she gets mad! I mean, Lauren, you'd think you would have me figured it out by now. Anywho, so she really annoyed me today. I wish I had someone I could flirt with or just make me feel better; more or less, I just need some Friday validation and the LAST thing I want to do is be on duty tonight. I need a drink so bad. I need to go to the store and get some food & some cigs & yea. Maybe some vodka would be nice too. She just perturbs me. Some of the shit she says, it's just like, "really?!" I mean, she "says" she wants me to live with her when she gets her place, but then again it's like I feel like us living together may be complete chaos. She'd get jealous & angry if I left the house but then would feel like I shouldn't have any problem with her going out. She wants me to live with her when she's a frequent and habitual user of drugs. I can't live with a drug user. She claims she "doesn't want to live without me" but her actions and even some of her words contradict that. I just don't know if I believe it. And sadly, it only takes a night like last night to make me re-think EVERYTHING she's ever said to me. And I feel like if she were to get this place and I were to stay that Shawntee or Dominique or whomever would be over there ALL the time. IT IS NOT THEIR HOUSE! I just don't know how well I see us living together working out. And although she "claims" she wants to be with me for "the rest of her life", she's so unwilling to change any of her habits for me, while I've gone out of my way to change for her. But isn't that the way it always goes? Whatever, she's getting on my nerves and I really wish Amie were here. I miss having a BFF here. Anywho, enough venting for the time being. I'm not going to waste any more time or energy on her ass today. Whateva!